Acme::Phlegethoth - Improve your code's readability, if you're an Ancient One
use Acme::Phlegethoth; print "goodbye, world!\n";
Acme::Phlegethoth improves the readability of your Perl programs to the Elder Gods. This may accelerate a debugging session where you feel compelled to invoke them. After all, if you're outsourcing development to Cthulhu, you'd better damn well be sure He can read your code.
Acme::Phlegethoth translates your code to Aklo the first time your program uses it. From that point on, your program continues to work as before, but it now looks something like this:
use Acme'Phlegethoth; ia ia! mnahN' NAflHriI R'LuHnyTh BUgoR SLl'HAog gOf'NN Hai ron gOf'nn Nnn'aIog FHTagN LlLL YHlIRgHOG GoF'Nn naCh'! nNNvuLgtlAGlN thROD! PhLeGetH StelL'BsNaoth sll'Ha! aH NAfL'AIyAR H'EbUMna HliRGHog eHYeOG nnnSgn'WAhL fm'laTgh ah ILYaA h'zHRO iLYaa H'gnaIihNYtH EBumnA s'Uhnor [Text ends abruptly.]
which loosely translates to:
Hear me! Call upon the cowardly servants of the unbelievers! Invite them to into our Church! Watch over them, protect them! These heretic children will enter the beyond to sleep beside our Master! Prepare us for the time when the Servants of your Father rise from the Pit to fulfil his pact. Our unshaken belief will protect our place on Earth! [Text ends abruptly.]
Can't summon '%s'
Acme::Phlegethoth could not access your code to translate it into Aklo. The Ancient Ones will be most displeased.
Can't banish '%s'
Acme::Phlegethoth could not access your prayer to execute it. Never let this happen. The Sleeping Ones do not like to be awakened without reason.
Rocco Caputo <firstname.lastname@example.org>
This was loosely based on Leon Brocard's Acme::Buffy, which in turn was based on Damian Conway's Bleach module. That was inspired by an idea by Philip Newton. By now there's enough blame for everyone.
But what really sparked my imagination was Meng Weng Wong's quote from a couple Ruby users:
<flippo> ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! <ibroadfo> flippo: don't paste perl in here
They will of course be eaten last.
Copyright (c) 2006-2009, Rocco Caputo. All Rights Reserved. This module is free software. It may be used, redistributed and/or modified under the same terms as Perl itself.
Thanks to the "Cthuvian / English Dictionary" for providing the lexicon and translations in one convenient place.